Toyotathon
Here at the dealership, waiting for the car. 20,000 mile service, despite the car only having 17,000 miles. I was tired of the notification barrage.
Is it possible the beginning of the end of capitalism occurred when we all became walking billboards for billion dollar brands? This isn't a new thought by any means, but here in Toyota town, there's an entire merch section of overpriced, wearable ads. I'm not totally against repping a brand you trust, as there's still a few I consider to be not entirely evil. But it's a tshirt one letter shy of spelling TURD for $40. Where do I sign up?
Now they want to buy my car. According to Jenna, I'm a VIP. Or my car is. Very Important Profit. It's a 2024 hybrid with less than 20,000 miles, they could probably resell it used for more now than I paid for it new.
"Rob Lewis, nevermind" just came over the intercom. He was needed a little while ago in the showroom for a customer. Customer must have given up on Rob and left. Bummer, could have had a tshirt sale.
Dealerships give me the same creeps as hospitals. Nothing necessarily great is happening here. People making potential life altering decisions in the name of transportation vanity. Today, buying a new car is equally as stupid and expensive as having a child. I've done both. Neither experience was necessarily fun or worthwhile. Matter of fact, I still have a scathing review penned from my car purchase experience two years ago.
Let me share the story of a automobile salesperson. Don't worry, her story was unprovoked, offered freely, in what we could only decide was a poor attempt at securing a sale. I didn't want or need the story in my brain, but there it is, and now it will be in your memories as well.
As we're about to embark on a test drive, the salesperson (let's call her Peg), unloads a full-clip of a tale. According to Peg, she's down on her luck (of course), and claims she's scatterbrained because of all the zany shit happening in her personal life. Sorry to hear that, Peg. Now about this car. But first...
Peg's fiancé was in a horrible high-speed motorcycle accident and has been rendered quadriplegic. Poor guy, really feel for the dude. Anywho, she's a "good woman" and elected to remain with him through the hardships because he's a "good man." You can almost taste the depth of their relationship in the air around her, and it faintly smells like shit. Tears, this woman, whom we've known for less than 30 minutes, is crying, overwhelmed. Turns out, she had just found out she's pregnant. What a heartwarming turn! Not only staying with the dude, but also carrying their child?! Girl, let me buy this car from you right now, maybe a handful of tshirts too!
It's not his. It's his best friend's. Straight-up Springer shit. They started hooking-up as they were both perpetually present during crash victim's recovery.
So now I don't know what to think. What started as a sob story I immediately equated to a piss poor sales tactic had just morphed into "OMG GURL, WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" She's being honest. Holy shit, this is real. I want this car, but I don't want to buy it from this succubus. Quick aside, there was a time when I would have considered this type of monster human. Youthful lust is something else.
She's considering keeping it, and claiming it's actually her fiancé's. Something about money, and not wanting to harm their friendship. Whatever will she do?
Car is ready to go, but my complementary Toyota Care plan has expired, so it's out of pocket today. Too bad, I was eyeing a sweet TRD hat on discount. $26.99. Maybe next time, in 6 months or 5k miles (whichever comes first).