End of Life New Beginnings
Typing this using macOS's excellent voice control tools, seeing as I'm still dealing with a surgically repaired right hand. Life once again became too silly to deal with. Absurdities beyond the bounds of impossible imagination, the kind of stuff nobody will ever believe when you speak of these tales.
I'm separated now. Technically for the first time ever. I'm also technically living alone for the first time ever... here in my late 40s. Well, there's Critter, but his degree of dumb never exceeds incredibly sweet. The air is lighter in our house now and I think even Critter realizes it. His general disposition has changed dramatically; he seems less tense and significantly more trusting. Don't get me wrong, he's done some really irritating stuff, but he's a giant kitten who literally doesn't know any better. Regardless, he still learns, and in his learning, I also learn. He exhibits accountability, like if he knee-jerk does something he knows he's not supposed to, it's immediately followed up with licks/kisses. Even before he has to be reprimanded, which tells me he is indeed consciously aware that his actions have consequences, he will exhibit apology. It's wild that this little furry thing from outside can meet these basic expectations of living things when there are PEOPLE out there who cannot. As a species, we're no more superior than the next. We just live longer.
So what do I do now? I literally have no idea. I have no friends, aside from Critter, but he's like my brother son. My family, well there isn't one. They're all dead. My brother lives, and he's been in touch which is nice. But aside from that, there's nothing. What about work, you ask? None of those people have any interest in my existence. Me typing this now is proof in its own cheeky kind of way.
But seriously, late 40s sober guy with a cat, still going to school, steady employment, no hobbies aside from the highly introverted single player gaming, feline care, and household cleaning/upkeep. I don't think I know how to make friends, and when you're my age and you don't drink, what is there? Some Internet holes I've gone down suggest diners. Not sure about you, but nothing tells me "I like to party" quite like reeking of the food you just consumed while also having to urgently depart due to the circumstance of drinking 3 cups of coffee. Hey there good times.
Just hopeless. And what a better time for it.